Becoming parents and how it can impact your relationship
Expectant parents can spend months preparing for the arrival of their baby. Often lots of energy is given to the birth and how it might go.
By the time you have brought your little baby home you may have read all the books, bought all the baby clothes and taken lots of pre-natal classes but even with all this preparation the reality of caring for a baby can be overwhelming.
When your family changes from two to three, your relationship with your partner is bound to change, you are now parents as well as a couple.
Being a new parent is wonderful, but it can also be really challenging and stressful, too. This can bring up different feelings. It's common for new parents to feel guilty when they're not enjoying every second of being a new parent. But it's important to remember that it's really ok to want to take a break from the baby every once in a while.
It’s very normal to experience a sense of grief when you become new parents suddenly your world can feel strange and un-familiar. This new life isn’t perhaps what you might have imagined, it can be a very challenging, exhausting time.
It’s very normal for your relationship with your partner to be tested, you have less time to spend with each other, and it’s not as easy to get out of the house. You may long for the life you had before and you may experience a sense of guilt for feeling this way, its completely normal to have these feelings.
Life has changed dramatically so acknowledge that and be kind to yourself
Loss of Freedom
The demands of having a new baby to look after can feel overwhelming. New parents can struggle to get out and enjoy their own interests. And to find any time for themselves, this can leave parents feeling trapped or suffocated not being able to come and go as they please.
A new baby is an exciting positive life event and many couple’s expect they should be really happy during this time and it can often come as a big shock to the couple when you are not getting on. Remember parenthood can be one of the most difficult transitions we will make
As a couple and as individuals you may experience the longing to have that connection and closeness again with your partner, but something significant has changed, its normal for things to take time to settle down.
It’s very difficult to describe the sense of responsibility you may experience when you are handed your baby, or bringing your baby home for the first time. As a couple you may worry about how to care for this baby, from changing nappies to sleeping and feeding its normal to feel overwhelmed.
Exhaustion comes with being new parents, remember that ‘sleep deprivation’ is used as a form of torture. During this time it’s normal to be irritated with each other.
We often take things out on the people we are close to.
Exhaustion can lead to less interest in intimacy. These are all normal feelings and experiences.
When we become parents it can stir up feelings we least expect, some fathers may experience a sense of jealousy towards there new child, as all of Mums time can be spent caring for the new addition to the family.
Or he may feel jealous that he doesn’t get to spend as much time with the baby, these feelings are completely normal
Some women struggle with how their body has changed from pregnancy and birth. It can be a very vulnerable time. Dark circles under the eyes from night feeds some women may experience feeling less attractive to their partners.
Some women experience that they are no longer their partners equal, they may struggle with their new role as a mother. These feelings are all normal.
During this transition its normal to disagree, it can bring up many feelings for both parents. The stay at home carer may have resentment towards their partner when they go to work as they get out of the house and meet people and for the person caring for the baby at home it can feel isolating.
House hold chores may not get done like they did before, less time and tiredness make it difficult to get anything done and this can lead to arguments
Remember the transition into parenthood is one of the most challenging transitions we will make. It’s normal for couples to feel a level of stress and challenge at times during this life change.
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